Chapter 1
After the Deathly Hollows invaded Hogwarts, The teachers decided that Harry Potter was too dumb to leave Hogwarts and was kept back.
Heres another thing that seemed to JUST happen when Harry is around.
Harry Potter thought to himself why he didn't just study sex enough. He would be out of Hogwarts then. Harry went to the bathroom to cry about it, then Draco Malfoy walked in on him (he was kept in too.) "Why you crying potter", said Malfoy in a whimpery voice. Him not so happy about being held back either. Harry ran out. He went to his dormitory. He wiped his tears off. Hermione climbed in the dormitory, "Are you high on cocaine again?" Harry asked, after she left Hogwarts she became a one way addict to cocaine. And Ron Weasley is still in jail for selling weed and heroin. Hermione had 7 bags of cocaine in her bag and offered Harry some. Hermione then snort some and passed out, so Harry sighed and threw her out of the window. Harry then went to dinner to see what the sorting hat would say. They had Human liver and some red sauce with it, and peas with eye balls. Harry did become a cannibal and ate his step parents and Dudley. "Severus Snape became headmaster of Hogwarts" Harry gasped. Snape announced "Whoever I fucking call over will come over, or will be put under the cruestacious curse, or what ever the fuck you call it" Shia Labeouf he called. Shia Labeouf put on the hat. The sorting hat screamed "GRYFFINDOR YOU COCKFUCK." Shia then shouted "JUST DO IT" and farted an explosion that propelled him to the Gryffindor table. Gryffindor clapped. Harry stood up and took out his wand and threatened to kill snape. But snape expelled him. Harry was so happy.
Chapter 2
But then their was a zombie outbreak and nobody could leave the castle. Harry then asked one of the teachers if he could use a pistol that they used in a muggle artifact lesson thing. The teacher said no, then Harry was filled with depression. Later that evening Harry was masterbating well thinking about Dumbledore. Draco Malfoy caught him doing it. Harry pulled out his wand from his ass and proceeded a curse. Malf
oy was now dead. 5 minutes later he became a zombie and bit Mcgonagle. Shia Labeouf shot both of them. But it was no use, the zombies broke in. And Shia Labeouf died a horrible death.
"JUST DO IT" yelled Harry at the corpse. It didn't work. Harry went to sleep with a picture of dumbledore naked.
Chapter 3
coming to you soon